Youth Ministry Mentoring

This past Friday I had the wonderful opportunity of picking up a student after school and taking him out for ice cream (mmmmm - ice cream). Our time together was only for 30 minutes, however, it was very significant. I had the opportunity to share with him and he with me.

One of my visions for student ministry is mentors for every student. Mentoring can be very powerful as a spiritual father or mother get to speak life and guidance to a student on a consistent basis. As I met with this student, I realized how much a mentor would be good for him. His parents are divorced and he is under the care of his mother most of the time. He was struggling with identity as many students are and what I sensed was that he needed a spiritual father figure to help guide him. I also had a sense that what we currently do in ministry wasn’t going to be enough to help this student along spiritually.

Since he was trying to identify with about three different types of students at school and he struggles with whether or not God is real I…

• encouraged him to try and disprove God (Josh McDowell tactic). I believe so strongly that God is real that if he chooses to do this that it will make him more of a believer than he currently is. I do realize it’s probably not what his mom wanted me to tell him, but I believe at the time he really needed to hear that. He is struggling with the realness of his faith and needs to own it. He needs to taste and see that the Lord is good. I think in his quest for the realness of God is going to be very spiritually stimulating - even though the temptation is to just talk him into God being real which is another way of an adult trying to make him believe.
• encouraged him to choose what he thought would be his career and to chase after it. The reason I said this to him was because he was really struggling with his identity and friends to have. I encouraged him to pick a direction and go after it. Nothing is worse than a wandering, wavering, unsure student. I wanted to give a churchy answer and say just pray about where God wants you and go after it, but you have to remember that he is not even certain that God exists right now. Choosing a goal and going after it is the best thing for him right now. He needs to focus and go after his goals. I also added - even if this goal/career changes later, that’s ok because at that point you regroup and chase after the refurbished goal (prayerfully at this point it is God directed).
• encouraged him to cut off relationships that he thought was going to direct him down the wrong path. Let’s face it - who we hang out with, we become like. I have seen this to be true time and again with students. I know that it is true with myself. I told him of my own story as a middle school student who literally saw a couple different paths to take. I had just become a Christian and had new friends. I also had my old friends whom I had much fun with, but their paths were leading towards criminal activity. I had a choice to make and praise God I chose my new Christian friends because I have no idea who or where I would be if I had chosen to stay with my oldfriends. This seemed to resonate with him to which I am thank-full.

After we got done licking our ice cream cones and talking - I walked away feeling great. I knew that I had just challenged and encouraged a  student that was out wandering and wondering about his faith. I asked him if there was an adult male in the church that he would feel comfortable meeting with on a monthly basis. He mentioned a name to me and I can’t wait to see what comes of it.

So what would I want an adult mentor in the church to do?

Here’s something that I would like to see them ask every time they meet the student/s:

1. What have you been feeding your brain? (reading, listening, watching)
2. Tell me about a God thing? (what’s God doing in your life since the last time we have met)
3. How can I pray for you? (make sure to follow-up with what you prayed about last time)

I think keeping it to these 3 simple questions will give the spiritual mom or dad direction and purpose; plus I believe it will eventually open up to a great time of sharing about other spiritual things.

I will have to work on putting together a mentoring program in the church and share it with you. What are your thoughts on mentoring students?